Gritty has a brand new NHL mascot to worry about

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The Montreal Canadiens are one of only a select few clubs among the 32 NHL franchises that don't have a mascot. And now they unveiled a brand-new mascot that is, to put it mildly, odd.

Welcome to "METAL"

''Legend was that METAL! was named after wandering out of the nursery at birth in 1979, drawn to the sounds of "Renegade" by Styx playing on the radio. Bobbing his head and throwing two fingers in the air to the beat, he was spotted by a janitor who laughed and cried out, "That's so METAL!"
"WOAH! My dude is BACK!" said a source close to METAL! who identified himself simply as his roadie.''

"After a night of bad choices partying with the team after the Cup win in '93, seems like he fell asleep in an ice machine in the Forum basement and only emerged this summer when the thing was unearthed during renovations. I can tell you he doesn't understand three things: why it's 2022, why the Habs are playing in a different building, and why this baseball mascot guy is working on HIS turf. But since he turned blue from being frozen all this time, he's gonna rightfully rock the new jersey the guys have and reclaim his deserved spot as the team's unofficial official mascot."